You Don't Want Your Dream Dog (Opinion)

If you love dogs, there's a high chance you have a favorite breed. Maybe it was the dog you had growing up. Or perhaps it's a breed you find especially adorable or impressive. If you do have a Dream Dog, there's also a high chance that you're wrong about wanting to live with one. None of these critera give an accurate picture of what a dog breed is actually like. Let's talk about how to avoid making the worst mistake of your life.

Rose-Tinted Glasses

Lucky, my childhood dog who I misunderstood for years.

When I was two or three, my parents got our family a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. His name was Lucky. He was the best! He would always give me kisses, and he would let me cuddle up with him under the table where he liked to sleep. I really wanted another Cavie for years after he passed away. When I was a bit older, I asked my parents about him. And then I learned the truth.

Lucky was actually terrified of me. His "kisses" were appeasement behavior to try and tell me to stop bothering him. He was constantly avoiding me, trying to hide under the table so I couldn't reach him. The only reason he "let me" cuddle with him was because I was holding onto him and he couldn't get away, so he gave up. Lucky was constantly living in a state of anxiety that I was completely oblivious to. (My parents should not have let this happen, but we'll save that topic for another day.)

He also had a lot of health and grooming requirements that I had no idea about, because he wasn't truly my responsibility.

Our childhood memories are often inaccurate and incomplete. Many childhood pets seem like the perfect dog because children get all the fun parts without any of the work. It skews our view of what having a dog is like.

Tinder Profile Effect

GSD are beautiful. Cobberdogs are adorable. Neither breed is a great fit for many people.

Far too often, we base our desire for a certain dog off of a single snapshot. I can't count how many times I've worked with clients who got their dog because of how the breed looks. But looks don't tell you how a dog behaves. They often don't tell you what they need. And they rarely tell you the behavior challenges that dog has.

Other folks have seen dogs in a particular context, and assume that's how the dog always is. Have you ever cleaned your house super well because you knew that your family was coming for a visit? Just because your house is clean in that moment doesn't mean it's always that way. Almost everyone shows only the best moments to the outside world, and that goes for having a dog, too.

We're not seeing the whole picture when we think like this. It's like looking at someone's Tinder Profile picture and declaring they are your soulmate. You're likely missing a lot of nuance and red flags.

Maybe you've done your research, and you know about the breed you're interested in. That's fantastic! You're on the right track. However, breed profiles are usually broad generalizations. Take them as a prediction, rather than a guarantee. A lot depends on the individual lineage, litter, and dog.

Find your True Dream Dog

These are the things I considered when getting Ayla, and she is a perfect fit for my lifestyle!

I have seen firsthand the stress and frustration that comes with adopting a dog that's not the right fit. I can almost always relate those feelings to one of these aspects:

Understand Your "Why": What's your number one reason for wanting a dog? If you're thinking, "I just like dogs," I would implore you to dig deeper. Be like a toddler. Keep asking yourself "why" until you really get to the heart of what makes sharing your life with a dog appealing.

Activity Level: How much exercise do you currently do? Not how much can you push yourself to do, but how much do you actually, consistently do? Get a dog that can match you where you currently are, not where you want to be.

Social Battery: How much time are you able to spend with your dog? This is both time sharing space as well as time directly involved with your dog. Some people need alone time. Some dogs need alone time. Find a dog whose desire and capacity for social contact matches yours.

Financial Capacity: All dogs are a significant financial expense, however some are more costly than others. Dogs who are extra large, require a lot of grooming, or have health or behavioral considerations will cost more.

Tolerance of "Doginess": How comfortable are you with all the things that are inherently included in having a dog? This includes drooling, shedding, and flatulence. It also includes normal dog behavior that could be irritating, like barking, digging, and chewing. Some dogs do things things a lot, others do some of them less.

Patience for Training: How much time are you currently able to dedicate to training? Some dogs take longer to train than others. Positive reinforcement is always recommended regardless of the dog.

NOTE: Smart does not always mean trainable. The better a dog is a problem solving, the worse they usually are at being trained.

Sometimes, you find a dog that checks all these boxes, and you still don't feel a connection. That's normal. Listen to that feeling. There are literally thousands of dogs looking for homes right now, so keep searching. You'll know when you've found The One.

(I also do offer pre-adoption and dog search support services. Just sayin...)

-Louca Hill, FFCPT, PCT-A